Bright Lights, Big City

Ah, sweet Tuesdays. Surgery day. My favorite day. I only have one more week at the hospital and it was making me misty and nostalgic all day. Today I was reflecting on how much I've learned in the last few months. One of the RNs said they were just waiting to win the lottery so they could stop working, and they asked me what I would do if I won the lottery. "Honestly, I'd just keep doing what I'm doing. But if I won the lottery, I could pay for medical school in cash, not loans. And I'd probably buy a house." It's the truth. I love this.

In the most boiled down version possible, these are my thoughts on my last few months in surgery:

1. I love surgery. It may not be glamorous, but there is still something so beautiful about it. Before my internship, I assumed I may just love it in theory, but it turns out, I really do love it. There is something about the smell of sterility, the bright lights, and the beeping of the heart rate monitor that I have really fallen in love with. It is almost meditative? Purposeful and hypnotizing. And I can't get enough. Okay, and you get to cut things. And suturing is fun!
2. ...more specifically orthopedic surgery. It's less squishy than the other kinds.
3. ...more specifically orthopedic surgery specializing in hands. Of all the surgeries I've observed and scrubbed in on (knee arthroscopies, cataract correction, fused fingers, the list could go on forever), hands are my favorite! They are also the least squishy specialization, except if you're removing a cyst or something else fun like that. 
4. In the OR I am surrounded by like-minded people. To me, this speaks louder than anything. 
5. I feel like someday, if someone asks me if I knew the exact moment I wanted to be a surgeon, I would tell them about today. 

I am really going to miss some of the quirky surgeons, and the nurses and staff I've met. They've all been so helpful and hardworking, and an essential part of my journey. Good people, doing their best to contribute in a meaningful way. I know this won't be the last time I see them, but I'll miss them nonetheless.

Thinking back, the first surgeon who let me observe in his OR said, "You're into pathology? Well, we'll see what we can do about turning you into an orthopedic surgeon." ...looks like his plan may be working afterall.